But last idle Tuesday, just after 4 PM, I walked into a dimly lit exam room where the neurologist pulled up Daisy's MRI scan results and uncomfortably said, "These situations are never easy..."
I knew I was about to be blindsided.
My heart started racing.
I Facetimed my partner so he could hear the doctor speak as I felt like that bus was bearing down on me.
The neurologist pulled up a picture from the MRI that showed a giant, evil, monstrous mass eating into her spine.
I tried not to hyperventilate.
"It is a tumor," the neurologist said. "I'm so sorry we weren’t expecting that. There are no treatment options. It cannot be removed because of its location in her spinal cord."
The room started spinning.
"You could try radiation to shrink it, but it won't go away," she continued, trying to sound calm. "That would only buy her a couple of weeks — but Daisy would be in pain."
I started shaking.
I attempted to hold back tears and the sound of ugly cries but failed miserably. When the staff left the exam room, I nearly threw up in the sink.
After everything Daisy ate and processed through her steel-lined stomach and all the times we worried about each object she ingested or her bad discs, cancer got her in the end.
My partner and I then made the right but the most heartbreaking decision you ever make as pet parents: we decided to let her go immediately and be free of that pain. We never brought her home. My partner raced to the animal hospital to be with us. We couldn't stand the thought of her suffering. The neurologist told us we made the right choice.
As we drove home without her that evening, I thought I would never feel happiness again. I'd never laugh again. I could not see life beyond the unbearable agony we were in.
Looking back, I can't believe Daisy hid the pain she must have been in for so long. She had been her cheery, spunky self even the week before.
I often thought if Daisy could write me an email update from over the Rainbow Bridge, she'd say something like, "Dear Mom, I have my best friend Solly back. We'll make room on the recliner for you one day. Please don't be sad anymore. We have no more pain. Oh! You can eat as much as you want in Heaven and not puke! It's fantastic."
Megan Saucier, who runs Sandy Trails K9 Adventures, captured the incredible picture of Daisy that headlines this memorial and wrote as a tribute to her: "Daisy was a crazy senior, with the no Fs left to give mentality which always kept us laughing."
As the weeks went on after Daisy died, we began to feel less like zombies. Though for a while, we only laughed when we retold Daisy stories that usually ended in chaos, an emergency room visit, or seeking legal advice.
When I think of how it all happened, I believe it's better I didn't see this bus coming. Even if we somehow caught Daisy’s bone cancer in her spinal column early, there weren’t great treatment options.
We would have spent the last year crying, upset, and worrying. Instead, we spent that last year trying to make every day with her the best: Swimming, hiking, eating ice cream, and just letting Daisy be Daisy until that last car ride we took together.